Her Sad Dark Heart
by freifraufischer
Summary: Outlaw Queen. Robin Hood and his men encounter a strange party headed by of all people Snow White and the Evil Queen. Curious and fighting his own demons Robin decides to follow along to find out exactly what the Queen's malicious plans are, only to find a sad and broken woman fighting crushing grief and loss he does not yet understand. The Missing Year.
1. Chapter 1

_"It's Your Majesty."_

The woman. The Queen. The monster wasn't ever someone he expected to see. Not that he'd never faced a monster before. He had faced many. He had robbed Maleficent and stolen from the Dark One and the Witch who ruled over the Emerald City in Oz. Monsters no matter how powerful didn't scare him. And particularly not rich monsters. Here was this woman dripping with jewels and draped in that ridiculous cape that made her seem like some sort of vulture rather than a person. But here he was, walking not twenty paces behind her watching the Evil Queen and Snow White share an intimate conversation as if hundreds of people hadn't died in the name of saving one from the other. Of saving Snow White from the mad Queen.

But she didn't seem quite so mad now and he couldn't put his finger on what it was but he wanted to know. And his honor insisted that he and his men stay with the party at least until he found out what the woman's plan was for the Prince and the Princess.

He owed it to Marian. She would not want him to become an assassin, cloaked in darkness and stain his arrows in the despots' blood in her name. But she'd want him to protect Snow White.

She'd want him to understand. And in her memory he'd try.

Even if he didn't know what to make of the furtive looks over her shoulder when the Queen seemed younger, more unsure, not at all the Great and Terrible but more the sad and vulnerable. And he didn't understand why or how he had those thoughts. And why they weren't as unwelcome as he wanted them to be.

Roland was walking ahead. He knew the rules of traveling with the Merry Men. There always had to be an adult ahead of him and an adult behind him. The traveling party was bigger now though and that meant he was further from Robin than his father realized when they heard the first terrible shriek. He was fighting through the crowd still when Show White drew her bow but could not fire, and Prince Charming's sword gleamed in the morning sun. But it was a cloaked and be jeweled figure in black that reached him before anyone else, and before the creature could get his claws into Roland.

And before Robin could even understand what was happening there was this beautiful angry monster full of fury protecting his son. Perhaps even monsters had hearts. Perhaps even this monster. Except it wasn't fire and death, but a stuffed toy that landed on the ground and she came up to Robin, his son in his arms, "See, not so scary. Now you have a new toy."

With those words and a smile Robin couldn't even describe, the horror of the moment was gone and perhaps the monster who had taken everything from him so many wasn't all darkness and death. And that was the thought he found most unwelcome. This sympathy for the demon in jewels, and so clutching his boy and watching the rest discuss the enemy he determined that he wouldn't stay in her debt for long.

The last thing he wanted was to owe Marian's killer anything. The last thing he wanted was to see the Queen as a woman, and the longer he was around her that was all he could see. A sad, broken, dangerous woman.


	2. Chapter 2

The Prince and Princess came running through the halls, Snow White knew the castle well apparently, and Robin remembered that she had in fact grown up in this strange cold place. She came to a stop in front of him, "Where is she?"

"Inside," he nodded to the Queen's chambers.

"Awake?" She demanded.

"Yes. She changed her mind." It felt wrong to betray the Queen's trust but both the fear and the relief in the princess' eyes told him that she already knew what had been her plan. Snow White nodded and pushed her way into the room, letting the heavy door close behind her and leaving the Prince behind.

"You aren't going in?"

David smiled, "I have found that it is usually best for my marriage not to try to get between Snow and Regina unless Regina is trying to kill her."

Robin shook his head, "And she isn't? They're not enemies anymore? Really?"

David chuckled and grasped his shoulder, "Trust me my friend, it really is better not to try and understand the Queen and Snow. They're family and at the moment... Regina needs all the family she can get."

"She lost a child? She said he's not dead."

A shadow crossed the prince's face, but he nodded, "Snow and I lost a daughter and a grandson and Regina lost a son. Alive but... lost to us."

Robin nodded, unable to even think about what was being described to him, but the thought was interrupted by a loud voice. The Princess not the Queen, yelling from behind the heavy wooden doors. Prince Charming smiled and put his hand on Robin's back, "Come, we have a big empty castle to settle into and we should find quarters for you and your men."

* * *

The Merry Men were settled in the south tower, and with a bit of cleaning and sun shine it wasn't such a horrible place to be. The morning after they'd arrived Robin had stood at the window and seen a glorious view down the valley, and in the court yard below a feather covered black figure of the Queen. He wondered at first what she was doing until magic came from her hands and for an instant a dome seem to form over the castle.

"A protection spell." Tuck said from behind him, "I don't know much of magic but I once saw the fairies cast one over a village threatened by ogres. I wanted to ask them why they couldn't do that for all the villages in the area but ..."

"Fairies don't take well to questions."

"Not even from kindly monks."

"Were you asking kindly, Tuck?" Robin raised an eyebrow.

"There might have been a few words that weren't quite appropriate for Sunday. But it wasn't Sunday."

"And even if it was you would have still used them."

Tuck smiled and shrugged, but they were interrupted by Roland. "Can I explore the castle, Papa?"

Robin crouched down. "Do you remember the rules about the other castle?"

"The one that belonged to the bad wizard? Look but don't touch and if I find anything strange I should find an adult?" He tilted his head, "Did this place belong to a bad wizard too?"

Robin smiled and glanced up at Tuck, "It used to belong to a powerful witch and I don't know if she kept her things locked away safely or if like the Dark One she put them on display. So for now... look but don't touch and be in the great hall for lunch."

Roland smiled and ran away, Robin moved close. "Have someone keep an eye on him."

"Little John will tag along."

Robin nodded. He didn't want to take away from his son's independence but the Dark Castle was hardly a place he wanted him to go around completely unsupervised. When he looked back down in the court yard the Queen was gone and he wondered where she would be or if she'd grace them with her presence for breakfast or lunch. And he wondered why he cared.

* * *

Roland quickly discovered that he loved the long hallways in the lower levels of the castle, mostly because the floors were smooth and polished and he'd never encountered anything like them before. He'd found a small rug in a side room and if he ran fast enough and then dived to the floor with the rug under him he could slide for quite a ways.

The sound of laughter drew Regina's attention from where she'd been cataloging her magical supplies to see what her crazy green sister might have taken. She knew she shouldn't have been surprised to find little Roland. There were more people in this castle but still not that many children. She stood watching him play, admiring the game he'd figured out and decided it wasn't too danger that he couldn't continue. He slid to a stop in front of her and she smiled down at him, "You look like you are having fun."

He smiled, "Yes."

She crouched down so that she could speak to him on his level, just as she had Henry when he was this boy's age. "I'm glad, you see this is my castle and all children who live here are required to have fun at least once a day."

"It's your castle?" He asked quietly.

She nodded.

"Did you take it from the witch who lived here before?"

Regina paused before answering, "The witch who lived here before is long gone. But I'm a Queen. Do you know what a Queen is?"

"My Papa stole from Kings and Queens." He answered proudly, but then spoke quieter, "I always wanted to ask what one was."

Regina should have been mad, but she just laughed, "Well, I'm a Queen and I try to keep people from stealing from me. But you aren't a thief now are you? You are a noble little man. Would you like to be a knight some day?"

He nodded vigorously.

"Well, I'll tell you what. If you learn to read I'll make you a knight of my personal guard. Can you read?"

He looked nervous, "I know my letters. Friar Tuck is teaching me."

"Well now you have a good reason to work hard at it."

"Roland, there you are," Robin Hood turned the corner and saw his son speaking to the Queen.

"I hope he wasn't bothering you."

"Not at all." She said with a smile at Roland and didn't quite manage the frown she tried to aim at his father. "Remember my promise, Roland."

"Yes, ma...jesty."

Regina disappeared back into her stock room and Robin looked down at his son. "What promise?"

"She said I could be a knight, but knights had to know how to read!" He said excitedly.

"They do..."

Robin glanced back at the door that the Queen had passed through but said nothing else that was on his mind.


	3. Chapter 3

"You, thief, come with me."

The Queen said imperiously from the doorway, and Robin could sense the Merry Men all settling hands on weapons both hidden and not. Robin raised an eyebrow, but with a gesture waved them all to be calm and walked briskly. "I could never resist such a charming invitation."

He thought she actually smiled for a minute before the sneer replaced it and highlighted the little scar over her lip. He wondered how she'd gotten it or if he'd have an occasion to ask. "There are a number of resettlement efforts going on within a day's ride of the castle. I want you to come with me to help with the tax and infrastructure assessment."

"I'm no tax collector," Robin held up his hand.

"Of course you aren't. I still want you to come. Half an hour in the stables. And you better be useful on a horse I don't ride slowly."

She turned with a flourish and a sweep of her skirts and headed off in another direction leaving him to wonder what the infuriating woman wanted. When he expected a grand party of banner men and officials he found the Queen, a couple of knights, both wearing the Charming arms but he suspected very much former black knights, and a scribe who looked terrified out of his mind.

"Can you ride competently?" The Queen asked as she was saddling her own mount, and he wondered why someone like her wasn't leaving that to the stable hands.

"Probably better than you."

Regina got a little grin on her face, "A boast you shall have to live up to someday, thief. Alas I think not today." She nodded to the scribe.

"Are you not worried about the Wicked Witch?"

"If my sister comes for me she'll have a fight. If she sends her flying flea bags they'll look less pretty when they limp back to her."

She mounted the horse and he mounted his own. "If I'm not here as protection...?" He asked as they rode away from the castle.

"You are here to help me do a fair tax assessment on these villages. Snow and Charming make much better heroes than leaders and sent the men they trusted when they ruled their kingdom, but this was mine and I looked at the figures and knew they were much too high for these villages were they fully prospering. When they are still recovering and resettling... the figures were nonsense."

He raised an eyebrow, "The Evil Queen does not have a soft spot for peasants. Your reputation isn't that far off."

"Of course not," she said quickly, "But over taxing the people will only stifle the economy and line the pockets of the tax collectors. Besides... " She gave a wolfish grin, "If you are part of the system you can't attack it."

He rolled his eyes, "There it is."

"I'm glad you are keeping up."

Still he had to admit that it was a good plan, and after the first village he even admired the thought behind it. The Evil Queen didn't offer magical solutions, but as well as taking a shroud look at what they could actually pay, nearly a third of the original estimate, but she also instructed the scribe to note that a new well was needed and to inquire about their provisions for the coming winter.

"I could almost think you a good Queen. If I thought such mythological creatures existed."

"They don't," She responded automatically. "Except perhaps Snow but she got extremely abbreviated lessons in how to rule."

"That happens when your father is murdered and you are sent into hiding," he commented.

"Don't presume you understand what goes on in my family, thief."

"I have a name you know, Robin."

"Thief suits you better."

He shook his head. "If the Princess is off the table for discussion how about your son? Henry?"

"Do you want to know what it is like when your head spontaneously combusts?"

"The legends are so wrong about you, Your Majesty. You are, charming."

She gave him a look that made him wonder if he would find out what it was like to have your head catch on fire but she fell into silence as the road.

"Is Roland working on his letters?"

The question came with none of the day's sass but more a softness he'd only seen from her briefly, "He is. With a great deal of enthusiasm. I hope you aren't planning on disappointing him."

"I try not to disappoint little boys," she said in a tone that made him wonder again about this mysterious child named Henry.

"He likes you. I generally try to listen to my son about people. He's a good judge of character like his mother."

"Children see the world in different colors than adults." Regina replied.

"And what color do you see it in?"

"My head, unlike my castle, is not territory you are welcome."

He grinned, "But I am a thief as you keep pointing out. And I like to break into locked boxes when I don't know what's inside."

Regina gave him a dry look and spurred her horse on, picking up to a trot and moving ahead of him.

And in his own heart he felt a pang of guilt. Woman or monster the queen had taken Marian from him, and he couldn't help but feel he was betraying her with each strange thought he had about this infuriating and arrogant and beautiful and sad woman.


	4. Chapter 4

The ball was not quite the stuffy formal affair that might have once been held in this castle, but there were many people who lived here now that would never have attended that kind of ball in the days of old King Leopold. The Prince and the Princess were hosting, honoring the first winter wheat and breaking the bread that had been milled from it. Robin let Roland stay for a bit, dancing in the circles and enjoying the music until it was past his bed time and the littlest merry man needed to be taken to bed.

He could still hear the music reverberating through the castle after he tucked Roland in and whistled to himself heading back to the party until he saw a light from a sitting room in one of the other towers. Curious, he found his way there, after getting lost only a few times in the maze of this strange castle.

The Queen was sitting in a chair in front of a fire, colored smoke formed a young boy's face. He looked perhaps twelve, with a mop of brown hair and a mischievous smile.

"He looks like his mother," Robin said.

The Queen jumped in her seat and the magic smoke portrait of the boy disappeared.

"Why aren't you at the ball?"

"I was setting Roland to bed. His first royal ball without a Queen, he was excited to dance with you."

"I rather doubt that." There was a bit of fallen lace work and shuttles on the side table. Lady's work that he hadn't expected of her. One didn't think of evil sorceresses being ladies.

"Well, he danced but I'm not sure one could really have called it coordinated. And he is fond of you." He sat down. "Why weren't you at the party?"

"No one wants an Evil Queen overshadowing their celebration."

"You know," Robin leaned forward, "The Princess slapped a man for calling you that the other day. No one else in this castle would dare."

"Snow is protective." She said somewhat guiltily.

"She loves you like a sister. You must mean a great deal to her for it to survive your pasts."

The Queen shrugged, "Snow is a possessive person. She doesn't let go of people. For the Charmings it's a lovely romantic motto 'I will always find you.'"

"Hard when you've lost so much?"

"Didn't I threaten to light your head on fire the last time you tried this, thief? Why do you care?"

He shrugged, it was a question he couldn't answer himself. "Perhaps I like the danger. And perhaps I think if you didn't want to talk you would have burned me to a crisp long ago."

She looked at him carefully and exhaled, sending the ridiculous cleavage of her dress draped in jewels up and Robin castigated himself for noticing it. Getting to know the monster was one thing... being attracted to the monster... "True."

He nodded to the fire, "That was Henry?"

"Yes."

"The others say you gave him up to save everyone. I can't imagine how hard that must be."

"Only one person has ever really mattered in my life, thief. And yes I gave him up because that was the only way to save everyone."

"And still they don't want you at the dance," he finished.

"One act of sacrifice doesn't make a hero, Locksley. I'm still a villain."

"That's not quite Robin but I'll take it," he grinned and she rolled her eyes, "It seems to me you were a villain but what you are now is entirely up to you."

"People don't change, they only fool themselves into thinking they can."

He laughed, "If that were true I'd have been dead several conversations ago and so likely would Snow White. You've changed, Your Majesty. Perhaps the last person to see that is you."

She gave a huffing grunt at that and he laughed even harder and she looked indignant. "What is so funny, thief?"

Oh so they were back to that, but still Robin smiled, "I'm just imaging you as someone's good witch fairy godmother. In fact I think you are... her name is Snow White. You run this kingdom and she and David take the credit."

"The people love and respect them."

"And fear you." He added.

"They aren't quite as stupid as they act occasionally."

"Is that praise." Robin teased.

"It's more than I've given you. Shouldn't you be getting back to the drunken revel downstairs."

He shrugged and a stupid idea came out of his mouth before he could even think about it, "You could come down and revel with us."

She shook her head, "No. I've had my full of being the forgotten and unwanted at balls in this castle."

Robin frowned and wanted to know what new mystery that comment was about, but the queen had picked up her lace work and he sensed that he'd gotten as much as he would from her tonight. "Very well, m'lady. Perhaps a dance another day."

As left her in the sitting room he heard the magic of the fire again and something told him that the boys image was back for his mother to watch in the flames.


	5. Chapter 5

Something drew Robin from his bed that evening. A storm outside battering against the walls of the castle made him check on Roland, but he was sleeping soundly holding tightly to the monkey toy given to him by his new hero.

Robin felt a new pang of guilt for the thoughts he'd been having about the Queen. Originally he'd intended them to only stay long enough to figure out what hold the Evil Queen had over the Prince and Princess. But now it was her sadness that kept him there rather than her madness.

He decided to walk through the castle when he heard the clash of swords. He walked quickly towards the noise of what he assumed was an intruder and slipped into the shadows. But what he saw wasn't a desperate fight between a guardsman and a minion of the Wicked Witch.

"I suppose it's too much to point out that you are too aggressive Regina. You leave yourself open to counter attacks." The Queen was standing with a sword in hand facing off with the Prince who was giving her lessons.

"My deranged sister is not going to attack me with a sword."

"Not very likely," David agreed. "But you need an outlet that isn't channeling dark magic for all that anger of yours. So here it is."

"Just be careful Charming, some day I might just stick you through if you provoke me."

"You've been threatening to light me on fire for years, if you haven't done that yet I think I'll take my chances on the impalement."

She grunted and the sparing continued. Robin knew he should leave, but something about the openness between the two made him want to continue and watch.

Charming was of course right. The Queen was too aggressive, but she was also a quick study and the grace she had with the weapon reminded him of Marian when the fights had come too close to home for the Merry Men. And thinking about Marian and the Evil Queen in the same thought made him feel guilty. Marian had always believed in second chances and finding the better person, but how far could that go? Could it go as far as the Evil Queen?

The two finished their sparing and David took the sword from the Queen to put it away when her voice softened. "You can't sleep I take it. Worried about Snow and the baby?"

David hesitated, "You more than anyone else would know why I have cause for worry."

"You didn't fail Emma."

"Emma certainly thought we did. Besides, what was it about parenting advise from a man who put his daughter in a box and shipped her to Maine?"

The Queen gave a soft, beautiful smile, "I said I wouldn't take parenting advise from you David, not that I wouldn't give it. You did the best you could under extraordinary circumstances."

"Caused by you," he added.

"I had something to do with it yes," she smiled, "But it doesn't change that you were and will be a good father. And you should go sleep. Snow hates storms."

"She's not five you know."

"I didn't know her when she was five." The Queen raised an eyebrow, "And she may have been a tough bandit who lived in the forest but this is her childhood home and the castle has a hold over both of us that is probably more powerful than either of us would like."

Charming paused, looking at her and finally nodded. "You are probably right. Try to get some sleep before morning Regina. As much as I like watching you bite the heads off of arrogant nobles in council I think poor Robin Hood could use a break."

She grunted in derision.

"Good night, Regina."

The prince headed towards where Robin was hiding and he moved deeper into the shadow with the stillness of a thief until he passed.

"You can come out into the light, Locksley." The Queen's voice was clear and challenging. He knew he should slip away, having been caught intruding.

"Apologies, m'lady. I heard the sound of the swords."

"I'm sure you did." The Queen looked him up and down.

"The Prince is right. You are too aggressive. If you are looking for something to calm you perhaps something with a little more focus?"

"Like what?"

"Like archery."

She laughed, "I think I'd prefer to catch pointy sticks than shoot them, thief."

He grinned, "Well perhaps you should let me shoot at you sometime and you can practice catching them."

"Or I could wait for you to want to shoot at me naturally." She walked up to him and gave a wide smile that didn't reach her eyes. It so rarely did.

"Perhaps I could."

She was standing just inches from him, trying her best to scare or intimidate him, and part of Robin knew he should be. But instead he looked into her eyes and leaned in himself catching her lips in a tentative kiss.

She didn't pull back, and even began to return it, but as soon as they were parted her eyes were wide and scared. And without a word she moved her hand upward and she was gone in a cloud of purple smoke.


	6. Chapter 6

The Queen didn't appear for breakfast and Robin hoped that sleep had come for her at some point. He caught sight of her in the gardens as he watched Roland play and as seemed to happen more and more he found her. Children and horses were excellent judges of character Marian always told him and he couldn't help but smile as his little boy turned this terrifyingly powerful witch into someone playful and light.

"Not quite what you expected."

Robin turned and saw Snow White walking up beside him. "What do you mean?"

"Regina. She's not what you expected."

He laughed, "No. You don't quite match your legend either."

She shrugged, "Legends are something no one can live up to. And besides, if you don't understand Regina you'd never understand me. There is a little of Regina in everything I do."

"You'd have to have been shaped by your history with her," Robin acknowledged.

"Yes, but not the way you think." She nodded down to the garden where Regina was holding Roland up to pick apples for her from the battered tree that had traveled between realms. "That's the woman I know. The fire and the rage and the hurt were ..."

"A mask?" He asked.

She nodded. "Regina is, under all those layers of magic and coldness a woman with an extraordinary heart. She loves deeply and with every bit of her soul and people took a beautiful young woman hurt her so badly that she needed to make sure no one could ever hurt her again."

He nodded, "Hurt people hurt people, my wife used to say." The princess nodded. "You can't possibly blame yourself for what she became?"

Snow smiled, "I wasn't guilty of the crimes she hunted me for. But I also wasn't quite the innocent. I loved her fiercely but not unselfishly. I wanted to be the one that saved her..."

"But that was her son?"

Snow smiled wider, in memory of the boy they all seemed to mourn without death, "Henry loved with the heart of the truest believer. He saved her." She sighed and turned to look at him, "If you think you're going to play some game with her heart I want you to know that I will hunt you down and kill you."

The transition from fond memory to threat was so smooth he wasn't quite sure he heard her correctly, but the intensity of her look now told him he did. "I ... wasn't aware that the Queen's heart was at risk."

"It isn't." She folded her arms, "Because whatever is going on in your head you are going to make sure you are careful with her. She may be a powerful sorceress but I am the best tracker in the realm and I will find you."

He smiled and held up his hands, "I yield, m'lady. I promise I have no ill intentions towards the terrifying despot." Snow gave him a look. "Alright, we're not joking today."

"I just got her back. I won't lose her again."

He tilted his head at her, "She's that important to you?"

"She's my family."

He just nodded.

The Queen brought Roland to the dining hall at lunch time. These days with the castle full of so many it was loud and boisterous. Robin stood up as she approached, "Sir Roland was hungry after a morning's hard work protecting me in the garden."

She didn't meet Robin's eyes. Which given all the other reactions he imagined from her after the kiss the night before was actually one of the better ones.

"Will you eat with us?" Roland looked up at the Queen who seemed momentarily stunned. She looked around at the Merry Men sitting around the table and Robin quickly gave them each a look which said 'best behavior'.

The Queen herself didn't seem to know how to say no to a child though and so she sat down on the bench next to Little John looking as incongruous as anything he'd seen in ages. Still she handled Roland with the hand of a woman who knew five year old boys and even Little John seemed to relax as she helped him cut his meat and asked him questions about his school work.

Robin didn't even manage to eat half his own lunch for watching them and after Friar Tuck took Roland off for afternoon lessons and Regina began to leave Robin inhaled and chased after her, "Regina."

"I prefer Your Majesty," she said coolly as she turned, "Don't mistake my fondness for Roland for any for yourself thief."

He smiled a little, "I actually thought the kiss last night was more evidence of that."

"If you ever mention that again in my presence I will rip out your own intestines and string you a new bow with them."

He blinked, "That's a charming offer but I rather like my current bow string."

She grunted annoyed and turned to walk away trailing her ridiculous cape behind her and Robin couldn't help but smile.


End file.
